cuteandquarky | IC INBOX

Dave is my friend, but so are you!

[Remember the friendship bracelet Jade got for her birthday? She pulls up her sleeve to reveal she is definitely still wearing it.]

I promise I will do my best to be an empirical observer, just like any good scientist. What's wrong?

[ his hand immediately reaches for his opposite wrist, where his matching bracelet is hidden by his sleeve. ugh, darn you jade harley. ]

Iiiii am pretty sure he wants to break up with me? It's like every single time I attempt to fix something, instead I end up drop kicking it in the fucking face and shattering it into a million spiky, inconvenient to pick up with your bare hands, pieces. But he basically told me before that as long as I want to keep dating him, he isn't going to dump me, so I've trapped him into this relationship that he doesn't even fucking want to be in.

[Jade quickly scours her memory for any sign that Dave is definitely happy with Karkat... but even when he had told her about their relationship, he had quickly moved onto another topic. Jade doesn't necessarily think that's damning evidence, but it definitely won't help in this situation.

If she can't soothe Karkat's worries immediately, then she needs to collect more evidence.]

What have you attempted to fix that has backfired? Specific examples would really help me get the full picture!

Well, the whole stupid public thing, for one. Our relationship on the meteor was a secret, I guess, except it was pretty obvious that everyone on the meteor fucking knew about it. But when we came here it kept being a secret, but then Dave mentioned that he would like to go public sometime? So it turned into this huge thing because I agreed to it but I said it all wrong, and because of that Dave changed his mind about wanting to go public. But Rose and I thought he still did, so we tried talking to him about it and he agreed to do the thing but he did not want to do the thing and it was such a giant clusterfuck, holy shit. And then Dave and I spoke about it privately, and we agreed to try being public for real?

[ and karkat thought that problem was solved BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE. ] But I guess I wasn't telling my friends fast enough that I was dating him, so he thought that I still don't actually want to be public. So we're just stuck in this annoying merry-go-round of an argument we've had a million times because he doesn't believe I actually want to do this since no matter how I approach it, it isn't the way he wanted me to do it. Fuck, I would have told you earlier, but I had assumed that he wanted to be the one to tell you since you've been friends for years. Except then he said that he was tired of always being the one who had to tell everyone, so I guess I fucked up there too and should have told you first!

Well.... that definitely does sound like a clusterfuck!

[Jade takes a moment to think about this and try and parse what Karkat's saying while also trying to imagine Dave's side of things. She isn't exactly a relationship expert, but she really wants to be supportive all the same.]

It sounds like you two are having a lot of communication issues. Which is not surprising, because both of you are very bad at coming out and saying exactly the thing that you want to say! It would have helped if you had talked to Dave about exactly when and how you wanted to tell your friends, but it also is not right of him to assume your feelings like that. It might have been a good idea for you to both tell your mutual friends at the same time so that you didn't have a game of chicken over who should tell them... but that piece of advice might be a bit too late?

[Jade runs a hand through her hair, feeling a little bad that she may have inadvertently caused them more stress just by being here.]

Is that the only thing you've been worried about, or is there more?

[ he nods his head because yes, now that jade says all that, it is rather obvious in retrospect? everything probably might have gone more smoothly if karkat didn't stop waiting until all of the shit has hit the whirling device before seeking advice, but he hates admitting that he needs help. so. ]

Uh no there's. Something else.

[ he then proceeds to not say what this something else is, mostly because now he is approaching a topic he has yet to actually bring up with anyone, not even dave. ]

[Jade waits for a moment to see if he's going to say it on his own, but isn't too surprised when he clams up instead. Honestly, he and Dave are so alike in this respect.]

What kind of something else?

[Jade does her best to sound as encouraging and supportive as possible, so that he'll hopefully feel comfortable enough to tell her.]

Yeah okay soooo. You're right about the communication thing, obviously, you're always right. But we kind of just reached a point where it just feels like be no longer trusts me enough to tell me anything.

[ what makes it hard to say the next part is that karkat is pretty sure it makes him an asshole? and okay, he is in fact an asshole, everyone knows that. but it's still difficult to approach. ]

I miss being the person he goes to when he wants to talk about shit? But he always chooses other people for basically everything now? And I'm happy that he's surrounded by so many people that care about him but it kind of just makes me feel really irrelevant.

[ he hesitates before adding the next bit ] You might not be aware but I used to like Terezi a lot? And I completely fucked up any potential of dating her, and then she completely ditched me for Vriska and it was Dave who helped me get over that. But this whole current situation with Dave is starting to feel really similar to how Terezi started pulling away from me and I have no idea how to stop it happening again.

[Jade takes a moment, sitting back for a long think about this. There's a part of her that wants to just find Dave, wherever he is, and teleport him in so that they can talk about this face to face, but she also knows that probably wouldn't accomplish much of anything. She can deal with Dave later.]

Well, for one, Dave is not Terezi! So be extra careful that you don't compare him to somebody that you used to like, because he's the person you like now, and that is the important thing. They are different people.

For two... Dave can be very bad at talking about things, and I know he was really stressed about the bomb thing from a few weeks ago. And because that involved you, maybe he needs to talk to somebody else who was less involved? It might be too weird for him to talk to you about how worried he was about you, just like you are talking to me right now about him!

[Jade isn't sure about that, because she has no idea what Dave is turning to other people to talk about. But maybe it's a factor.]

And a final and third thing! Are you going to him to talk about "shit?" Are you giving him opportunities to open up to you? [A pause.] Those are actual questions, by the way, not accusations! I just want to get a fuller picture.

I try?

[ he shifts slightly, considering everything else that she said before moving onto answer the questions she threw at him. ]

But I think that he needs to come to me about it at this point. Because whenever I attempt to have some sort of feelings jam with him, he definitely does not want to do it, so it's kind of like I'm forcing him to discuss something he either isn't ready to talk about or just flat out does not wish to talk about. Which... kind of hurts the relationship even more, since he just ends up feeling like he has no say in anything, even though these are things that we should be talking about.

[ at least, that's what karkat assumes is going on. ] But he's never going to bring up this conversation on his own! So if I just leave it to him, we're going to be stuck in this lull forever or until he finally realizes he actually wants to dump me and goes ahead with it.

If you are opening the floor for reciprocal feelings jams, and he is not taking that opportunity to talk, then that is Dave's fault and not yours. It's true that you can't really force him to talk about his feelings, but...

[But Jade believes Karkat when he says Dave won't come forth with this on his own. She doesn't know how to balance Dave's needs with Karkat's, not really, but she also knows that it won't do either of their feelings any good to let it fester.]

You need to have a talk about this, somehow. Relationships are about communication! And if Dave is not communicating, then there is a problem. I guess there are a couple of things you could do before you have to try and force him to talk. I could try and gently encourage Dave to talk to you when he feels ready - only if you want me to of course! It might work better than you telling him, since he would not feel immediately trapped in that conversation.

Or you could ask somebody he is talking to for advice. Like Rose? Dirk? I know you said they are biased toward Dave, but if you approach it the right way, then I am sure they would be happy to help you figure out a way to have the conversation you need. Not talking about this isn't good for him either!

Could you do that?!

[ wow ok that sounded a little too eager. dial it down there, pal. karkat clears his throat and then tries that again. ]

I mean. If you want to, I guess it's fine? Just try to bring it up as gently as you can so you don't spook him.

[ karkat he's your boyfriend not a horse ]

[Jade is a little surprised that Karkat is fine with the option of her talking to Dave first, but she certainly doesn't retract the offer. She wants to help however she can!]

I will do my best to be very gentle and encouraging, don't worry!

Does that cover everything that you wanted to get advice about?

[ honestly at this point karkat is just desperate to get some sort of semblance of normalcy back. the fact that he even went to jade and admitted all of this instead of just pretending like he has everything in control is big enough on its own.

he thinks on the question. there are a few other issues, but he brought up the most pressing shit and that's probably enough for now. ]

Yeah I think so. [ pause, he's forgetting to do something..... oh right ] Thanks.

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